words have power
Among the many tools that can help break free from depression, language is often underestimated.
Simply by changing your usual vocabulary (whether you say it out loud or to yourself), you can instantly change the way you feel.
It’s a choice
Take 2 people in a car. They are forced to stop at the side of the road because they have punctured a wheel. one will say: “It’s a disaster, we will never be on time. That’s fucked up.” he is very angry. the other much calmer responds “it’s inconvenient”.
The same event, 2 ways of reacting. Events are neutral. We choose how to react to them.
Because it is indeed a choice even if most of us do not make it consciously. We react according to our identity, our past, our mood and out of habit. But be aware that there are other ways to react that may be more appropriate for your mental health.
Choose your words consciously
We have to choose the words that we use consciously.
Instead of saying “I’m angry”, saying “I’m bothered” immediately decreases your anger.
Instead of saying “I’m scared” say “I’m uncomfortable”. Instead of saying “I hate this”, say “I prefer this”. And your state of mind will immediately improve.
You can also add small words that modify the sentence like today, a little, yet.
“I’m not happy” is definitive. It is a generalization. While “I am not happy today” or “I am not happy yet” allows us to limit our unhappiness in time.
Replace any words that take power away from you with words that give it back to you. For example, replace the word “failure” with “learning”. Instead of saying “I’m lost”, say “I’m looking for my way” (makes you more active).
Rather than saying “life is full of shit” I prefer to say “life is a gift”. “shit” is a word that will diminish your joy of living and it is a word that makes you a spectator of your life. While a gift must be opened (makes you more active). We like to receive gifts (puts you in a more positive state of mind). Sometimes we don’t like the gifts we receive and that’s okay, we resell it or put it aside.
Pay attention also to the words that become your identity. “I’m depressed” feels very hard to change because it defines who you are. On the other hand, if you say “I feel depressed today”, immediately it becomes a problem that will be solved later.
What if we deleted some words from our vocabulary
What if we decided to remove from our vocabulary, all these negative words that pull us down and put us in bad states of mind. Catastrophic, terrible, depression… are to be banned.
Instead of saying I’m depressed, it’s better to say “I feel a little down today”. Or even better “I’m starting to feel better” to help get you on the right track.
You can of course feel the emotion very strongly. But if you want to get better then you can choose to express it in a muted way. Do it consciously whenever you find yourself speaking negatively. And little by little you will create a new habit that will replace the old one.
If you are feeling depressed or stressed, I can help you regain control of your emotions and thoughts, contact me.